It’s been a while since the last time I posted a blog. I don’t know what to say, though my thoughts are shouting hella loud in me. I don’t know what to feel, though my heart seems calm at the moment. I don’t know what to write, just letting my fingers run through my keyboard. Hormones? heck yeah.
There’s so many things happening in my life right now. So many stop overs and unhealthy decisions, but I know for sure it is worth it by the end of the day. What’s more important is the happiness I feel when I do stuff, do things for the people I value most. Even when some people think that I’m giving my self too much. ALWAYS giving my self too much.
6 months ago. I don’t remember who I am 6 months ago. Feels like I’m a totally different person, like I was reborn and given a second chance to make my life right. People might have judged me, and was the bad person. Tell you what, I never felt so free, happy and settled with my life. I just started not to care what others might say. They just know me by my name, but not story.
My life was full of negativity and frustration 6 months ago. Right now? it’s not perfect, but I kept myself positive and see life differently. Always on the go for adventure and new stuff. Always see things in different way, unlike before. That all things happen for a reason and my Savior has better plans for me. Yes, I still worry about some stuff, but I know… I know in my heart, He will always be here for me. No matter how sinful I am and with all my shortcomings, He will always guide me.
I am thankful.
I am blessed.
I am grateful.
I am stronger.
I am smarter.
Feels good to let it out. And while I am writing this, I was thinking of you. How you made me a better person. I’m glad it happened, I have no regrets. It taught me a very important lesson. In time, when everything is right, when you and I are both ready…. things will better. I’m ready when you’re ready. Well honestly, I don’t even know if I am ready, maybe not. Scared? yes. I don’t want to feel pain. drama. commitment. pressure. I’m too scared to feel all of that. Maybe yes, I am not ready. I will never be ready.
I just want to cut everything that connects me to you. I’m done deal.
I was hurt… and I healed. No one can hurt me now.
"Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of Life"
It was nice seeing you today.